This Week in Retail

These things happened.

1. I watched an Assistant Manager sniff an electric heater and declare that it smelled "yummy." Smelled like a heater to me...worse, I had to smell it to see if, indeed, it did smell "yummy."

2.  I watched a co-worker inflate an inflatable deer toy....and the valve stem was between the deer's back legs...there was no foot pump included.  I just looked up and there was her head between a deer's back legs. Ummmm...wow...I thought this was a family oriented company?  She asked me what I thought...I said "I think it looks like you're blowing a deer."  No sure what else I could possibly think.

3.  Aforementioned Assistant Manager then told a different co worker to "Make sure all the balls are hanging to the left."  Ummm?  What the fuck?  Turned out there are Santa hats over the signage in the clothing department and he wanted them all hanging to the left...yep...wow.   I never would have guessed.

4. A customer spent four hours in a Tractor Supply Company store. Yep. Really. She arrived when I did, and left four hours later...midway through my shift with an overflowing cart full of clearance junk and a hitch packer. No idea what exactly took four hours to look at...but...um...wow.  I have a hard time killing four hours in there and I work there.

5. The Spurminator made an appearance to drop off something for a customer and berated employees' forklift skills. Um, sir?  I know a few tales about your mad forklift skills.  You took down the flaps at the back door with a forklift.  And you encouraged someone to move three tons of feed stacked vertically with a forklift and the ensuing disaster made the back aisle wall come down.  Umm...two tons is pushing it on that thing..it gets really light in the rear end...and that's the drive end.  So let's not talk shit.  The worst most of  us have done is ripped open a random bag and gotten the thing stuck in weird places, not brought down a wall with feed pallets.

6.  An Assistant Manager and I raided the Princess' secret food stash. Yep.  She has a file cabinet drawer FULL of cookies and assorted goodies.  Apparently she is constantly eating....PLUS she has the break room fridge full of things with her name on them.  Wonder if she's counted her cookies?  Assistant Manager seemed to believe they were quite yummy!  He also nomed a block of cheese cloaked in a  bagel wrapper that had her name on it.