I ran into the woman with the gravelly, adenoid voice at the store yesterday. Again.
She's not particularly mean, nasty or smelly. She DOES smell of booze most of the time. But at least she doesn't have the unwashed cat lady odor....well, yet. She is a cat lady. She buys 2-3 40 lb boxes of kitty litter at a time. That's a lot of kitty litter. She's in every week at least once. I'm not sure how many cats this equates to exactly but I'm never really just in a hurry to have a chat with her.
Her voice makes me crazy.
She also can't or doesn't understand that she needs to enunciate her words. It all comes across as one big run-on word in a gravelly, adenoid monotone with a good measure of whining thrown in for further annoyance.
She once had a conversation with me about the tastiness of the bacon jerky the store sells. It went like this...
"Thatbaconjerkyissuhgood. CanIorderitbythecase. Ijuscan'tstopeatingitonceIstart. Ijuscan'tbelievehowgooooditis."
She is also the only person I have ever met who can stomach the disgusting, fatty bacon jerky. Everyone I have ever seen buy the wretched stuff has taken a bite, made the most awful "gross" face imaginable, spit it out, and taken a big drink of some sort of liquid, and has asked to return it. Some have even requested we pull it from the shelf it is so nasty. We always return it.
She rain checked ten bags. She spent $50 on inedible jerky.
It even looks gross. (It's not expired, its just how it is.) It looks like that half-cooked bacon you can buy at the grocery then run it through the microwave for thirty seconds to crisp it up and finish it cooking....yeah...limp, chewy and fatty...really, really gross. I refuse to touch and or taste it. It baffles me that once the people who buy it get a good look at it that they are adventurous enough to put it in their actual mouths.
Here is her other standard line.
"Canyouhelpmeliftthekittylitter. IbroketworibsandIcan'tliftannythingggg."
She broke her ribs two and a half years ago at least. Probably longer. I only know that the store has been open for that exact amount of time and she must be the world's slowest healer. If I ever quit I want to call her out on it. "No, I won't help you, how long does it take you to heal anyway? My dad broke ribs once, never stopped him from doing whatever the hell needed to be done no matter how much it hurt. A bone heals in 6-10 WEEKS lady...the 10 is for possible complications and slow healers. IT DOES NOT TAKE YEARS TO HEAL! Get your own kitty litter."
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